Darkness Travels in Thy Midst
by Petra Megami Assari
Summary: Something's wrong.... with Harry... something's eating him up from the inside... something horrible... and what happens when it catches up with him? What will his friends do? What will HE do?
1. Darker than Lonliness; Hating the Night

Petra: Okay... before I even continue I want you to know that this is DEPRESSING!!! Horribly so... even I found it depressing and I wrote it...   
Kati: So, if you're in a good mood, DO NOT READ!!! You have been warned...  
Petra: I want to say that I got this idea when I was listening to Harry Potter #3 for God-only-knows-exactly-how-many-times as I played Tomb Raider. I had just listened to the part where they talk about how everyone turned on Harry after he, Hermione, and Neville lost 150 points when I felt really mad. What right did they have to judge what had happened when they didn't even know the truth?! It reminded be so much of my grade school days (betcha thought I was going to say high school, didn't ya?) that I couldn't help but think, how could someone not be affected forever by it and, then, what happened if there was more to Harry than what met the eye? How could Harry stay so positive and innocent after all he's been through...? So this is my take on it all...   
  
DEDICATED: For everyone who struggles against their darker self.  
WARNING: Angst, lots and lots of depressing stuff for those of you who don't know what angst is. A rather twisted idea of Harry Potter but, hey, I'm the writer, I'll write what I want... And there's cussing at the end author notes. PG for cussing and the darkness. I have changed this to take place after Book 5 (it almost seems to fit better, ne?)  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter but I do own this fic and the idea behind it. If you want to continue the story I have nothing against it, in fact, I'd love to see it, but just tell me.   
  
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Darker Than Loneliness; Hating the Night  
  
"Always too late does the knowledge come . . . Or too early to comprehend . . . What and where the meaning lies . . . We grow and find ourselves having drifted . . . Too far off to be rescued . . . " -Blue; Meant to Be (SM)  
  
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TIME: Harry's 6th Year; December 25th; 12:13am; Following Book 5  
  
No one really understands how lonely you can be, even surrounded by thousands of people. Thousands of people all around me but I only feel more alone. It's funny, people say that I'm the light, that I'm the good... but I know, deep inside myself, that I'm darker than anyone. I'm surrounded by the darkness and the people who walk in it can see that; that's why they try to kill me, because I walk in the dark, yet I try desperately to push it back. I, unlike them, deny my own nature...  
  
I suppose I must be confusing you now, as you have no idea who I am. I am Harry Potter. That's right, I can almost see your eyes widening, your mouth dropping open, shock filling your gaze. THE Harry Potter wrote this? 'The Boy Who Lived', the one who defeated Lord Voldemort when he was eleven and twelve? Who survived Sirius Black at thirteen and Voldemort, again, at fourteen and fifteen? Everyone in the wizarding world knows my name and, despite what other people might think, this does nothing to help my loneliness, instead it makes it all the greater.  
  
"How?" you're probably asking, wondering how I can be lonely, when surrounded by all the people who love and admire me? How would you like, to when you meet someone, for an image of you to already be in his or her head? To have them think that they already know you? That this is how you are and, if you're not, it's because you're doing it for one of these 'good' or 'for the light' reasons?  
  
The Sorting Hat first brought the darkness that was my nature to my attention, even though I now know that I had always realized it was there, when it whispered into my ear how great I would be in Slytherin. I protested because I had felt the darkness inside me jump at the word and I knew, instantly, that if I went there it would take me over. That was also the reason I refused Malfoy's friendship, I knew that if I took that hand, there was no turning back... And every single time the darkness threatens to envelope me I push it back for one more hour, one more day, one more week...  
  
I've always known about the darkness I think, it just came more into view when I first wore the Sorting Hat but, even then, I never really knew how dark and deep it was until they all turned on me. That was when I realized how alone I really was and, if it weren't for Ron and Hermione, I would have snapped. When Hermione, Neville, and I lost those points, and the whole school just turned on me, I realized that not a single one really even cared. They all liked being with me, it made them fell important because they knew someone famous, and, sometimes, when the darkness is closest, I can't help but wonder if that's the reason Hermione and Ron stick by me.   
  
Do you know what it is like to have a whole school suddenly hate you without even asking why? I do, for I have had it happen so many times that I am surprised I have not gone mad and, each time it happens, I feel myself getting a little closer to the blackness, a little closer to the evil that I know lurks deep inside me.   
  
At first I tried to act like myself but, as I soon found out, they didn't want Harry Potter, they wanted 'The Boy Who Lived'. They didn't want the human, they wanted the idol and, through these years, I have learned to fit the description they want of me. Every once in a while though, like when Collin annoyed me, I break and the real me gets through. I won't lie to you and say that it pains me; instead, it feels liberating, feeling the passion and fire rise forth within me, having the blackness sweep across my heart... I remember back on that second year and almost laugh, as I realize that I *could* have been Slytherin's heir if only I had given into the darkness sooner.   
  
Voldemort realizes it too. Every time I meet him, that same smile passes over his face, the smile that says, "You're not as pure as you look Harry Potter and you know it, and I know it, but no one else does... How long will it be before they ALL find out?" And every year it's the same old battle, not with Voldemort, not with Malfoy, not with Snape, but with my own darkness, the darkness that is constantly trying to destroy that good in me... and year after year I feel it succeed, feel it getting closer. One day it's going to completely destroy whatever good I have and, in the process, destroy me...   
  
Through it all, I'm lonely. No one knows the real me, not even Ron and Hermione. No one sees past the innocent eyes and the humility in those same distorting emeralds. Then of course, you can't see something if you don't look, and no one does. I hate the night... I hate the darkness because it reminds me of what I should be... what I am... More than I hate the darkness, though, I hate the truths that lie in the shadowy depths... The truths I have to keep denying, if I don't want to be smothered in them... The truth, that I, the famous Harry Potter, am darker than anyone in Slytherin, darker then Snape, darker then Malfoy... Darker... then even Voldemort...  
  
Now, people... Cedric... ... ... ... Sirius... are dead... and Voldemort's growing more powerful by the day... but... I feel no remorse, little sorrow. The only thing I feel is doubt and ice; is it possible to feel this dead inside when I'm still alive? Now, the only thing that plagues my mind is questions. Will I die before the darkness engulfs me or will I soon join Voldemort? How much longer will the good last? How much more time do I have before the darkness overtakes me? When? The questions overwhelm me but the night only stays silent and still around me, no noise except for the breathing of myself and my classmates...   
  
Now, before I slip into a sleep full of tossing and turnings, plagued by nightmares of the darkness that is me, I will send one more question into the great cosmic nothingness: Will anyone care when it happens?  
  
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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.   
  
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12.01.03  
Petra: This, believe it or not, really did make me want to cry when I read it over again, long ago. I have to say that this will always, in my mind, be one of my greatest fics not because I particularily like it, but because it touched so many people. It was my first "big hit" and because of that it will hold a special place in my heart always. This is actually a newer version, with *very* small changes made so... those of you who read it through once, you'll be able to tell the small things I changed.   
Kati: Mostly, though, we proof-read it over and over...  
Petra: *groan* Headache just thinking about it...  
  
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."   
-Rose Marie Ledam  
  
~Petra Megami Assari~  
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess* 


	2. Traveling in Darkness; Losing a Friend

Kati: DEPRESSING!!! WARNING!!!  
Petra: Okay, I just wanted to get that over with. I mean, this is so depressing, that I found myself on the verge of tears after I finished proofreading it and I'm the author so, I'm warning you again. *stern look at TigerLily*  
Kati: DON'T PROCEED IF YOU ARE IN A RARE GOOD MOOD!!!   
Petra: As you can tell this is in Ron's Journal. THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!! I would never NEVER have made a sequel (a trilogy as it's turning out) if it weren't for all the readers who told me how much they liked this fic!! Thanks guys, you are SUCH confidence boosters. I hope you enjoy the rest of my works.   
  
DEDICATED: This is for you, the readers, because if you hadn't suggested it, I'm too dumb to think of this myself... and, of course, for Harry, 'cause boy, you need help...  
WARNING: Angst, teary angst. (Am I a depressing person or what?)   
DISCLAIMER: Not own. Understande, no comprehende? (so, I didn't spell that right...)  
  
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Traveling in Darkness; Losing a Friend  
  
"Tread softly on the deck tonight, a deck once hot, now warm; past the night in silence now, for one of us is gone." -Jeff Newell  
  
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Ron's Journal #7; Entry #13; March 9; 7th Year  
  
Something's happening, something that I can't stop, something that, I fear, even Harry can't stop... because Harry is the person it's happening to. I don't think any of the other students besides Hermione and I have noticed it, because no one else knows Harry as well as us. So, thus, Hermione and I can only sit in silence and watch as something eats Harry from the inside, something that he wants to tell us but won't. Sometimes... I think that what's wrong with him is something like, say, bleeding from the inside. Slowly, he's dying, and no one knows. He knows it though, I can tell from his eyes...   
  
Actually... I don't much like to think about his eyes anymore. I remember when I first met him, first looked into that vivid emerald soul, alive with curiosity and excitement... those eyes burned with a fire of life that made me feel like a star in comparision to the sun. Something else too, something that I have seen in no other person, not even a child: innocence. It drew me to him and I knew, as soon as I looked in those eyes, that I had to know him better. Sorry... I'm babbling, after all, I've written this in my other journals... but... the reason I bring it up now is that his eyes aren't like that anymore. His eyes are full of shadows and, when he doesn't think people are looking, they seem dead but, worse than all this, he has lost his innocence... And now that I think back on it I wonder: Was that innocence ever real? And, if it was, can we ever get it back?  
  
I haven't mentioned Harry for a while, as you might have noticed, and there is a reason for that. Harry's been acting... odd, I guess is the word to describe it but... somehow... it doesn't fit. ... Odd will have to do. So, anyways, he's been acting odd lately and I probably wouldn't even have noticed it if it weren't for the fact that, since the first time I met him, I hadn't seen him over last summer break. That alone was strange, he was always ready to jump for a chance at leaving those Muggles, but this year he had politely declined at the station as we left for home, saying that he needed time to think about something.   
  
The next time I saw him, at the station to board the train for our next year of school, an involuntary shiver ran down my spine. He was staring at Malfoy coldly who looked, to my surprise, as frightened of Harry as most people were of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. When I had touched Harry gingerly on the shoulder (he didn't know I was there) he had turned with such quickness that it startled me, but it was what I saw in his eyes that scared me. They were lifeless, soulless I would even grant, and as cold as space. As soon as they saw me though, they lightened, and I soon forgot out it... until that night, when McGonagall had come to get him...  
  
I guess my first inkling that something bad was happening was when Snape was being his usual be-a-jerk-to-Harry-self and Harry had calmly stood up, saying slowly and deliberately, "Go to hell, Severus Snape. I'm am NOTHING like my father and it would do you fucking GOOD to realize it... I DON'T deserve the fucking crap you put me through because my father was a grade A asshole. So... Leave. Me. The. Fuck. Alone." Harry sent one icy glare around the classroom, nothing like I had ever seen in his eyes, before he stalked out of the room.   
  
After that he had only gotten worse, skipping whatever detentions the teachers had given him until, that is, Professor McGonagall stepped in. Harry and I were sitting in the common room and, finally, I had managed to make him act like his old self, when Professor McGonagall came in, glaring daggers at Harry. It's funny... I could almost see the change in him, the way his eyes clouded over and... he became... so different...  
  
I can't remember what went on, it all seems to blur into one second, but the first thing I remember clearly is Harry standing up, opening his mouth to say something truly horrible, (I imagine) before his hands had suddenly clamped over his lips. Professor McGonagall and I had stared at him in shock as he seemed to wage an inner war with himself. The next thing I knew Harry was on the ground, curled into a tight little ball, moaning and trembling, tears streaming silently down his cheeks. I vaguely remember, I believe I was in shock at this point, walking over and shaking him, murmuring, "Harry..."  
  
That snapped him out of whatever had held him as he jerked upright, ungangly limbs scrambling to stand, limbs that were a little too long for his body. He turned to stare at us with confused and terrified eyes, his bottom lip trembling in both fear and pain. "Harry?" I tried again but this time he stumbled backwards, gave Professor McGonagall a look like that of a rabbit that had gone mad with fear, and dashed out of the common room.  
  
We students didn't see Harry for two weeks, give a day or two, and when he came back he was exhausted, pale, and taken to shivering at the slightest chill... but it was worth it because, for a couple days, he was the Harry Potter I remember so well... and then it changed again... He got nastier than before, and didn't get detention, (much to the chagrin of Malfoy) instead, he was taken out of the room where students could hear whisperings and then Harry would disappear for another day or two. Pretty soon it got to where he was hardly ever around any more, for a day after he would be like his old self but, the next day, at some point, he would again disappear.   
  
The teachers explained to the class that Harry was having a hard time coping with all the stress and that from now on, if we saw him doing anything out of character, to get a teacher, not to try to deal with him ourselves, as soon as was possible. I think that was when I first *really* realized something truly horrible was going on...  
  
That's a lie, a cover-up story if you will, because I know it's not stress, it's something much more. ... ... I don't know if I should mention this, as it probably has little importance at all, but I'll still mention it. The day before yesterday, Harry had, yet again, disappeared, and I had been getting something, can't remember what anymore, out of my chest when I saw something poking out from under his mattress. Intrigued, I picked it up and, to my surprise, saw it was an old (as in wrinkled and dirty, obviously been around a year or two) paper, in Harry's handwriting. I only got to read the first paragraph but what I read disturbed me beyond belief. It went on about being lonely even being surrounded by people, but then it switched to talk about how everyone thought he was the Light (is that right? I can't remember... God, I don't want to remember...) and how he isn't the Light at all but the Dark. (I assume that he's talking about good and evil but I could be wrong.) Even that couldn't really scare me though; it was the sentence after that that scared me witless. I remember the sentence as if I were reading it now; it's burned forever in my mind and onto the back of my eyelids. "...I, unlike them, deny my own nature..."  
  
I hate to think it but... it makes so much sense. I've heard tell of what happens to wizards who, born Dark, try to walk in the Light. They have a slow breakdown, until the Darkness destroys all the Light. I don't want to believe... God, I wish I had never found that paper... but it makes so much sense. Just like I said, he's slowly bleeding from the inside, the Darkness is taking over... It can't be true... it makes so much sense, though... BUT IT CAN'T BE TRUE!!!   
  
Great... now I can't read half what I said because of my tears, just perfect... but I don't think I'll ever want to read this again... If only... if only I could have read the whole thing... But someone had to come up and, in my haste not to show that I was sneaking around the room, I shoved it (rather clumsily) back between the mattresses. That night Harry came back, no one said anything, in fact no one besides Hermione and myself talk to Harry of our own free will, so no one commented on it, and when I checked for the paper the next time he disappeared, it was gone.  
  
Somebody... anybody... help... Something terrible is happening to my best friend and there's nothing I can do... nothing at all. Please... Help me... I don't know why I'm asking... since I've never heard of a wizard or witch denying his or her own Dark nature and still living... Harry... Every day I have to watch you slowly becoming less and less like the friend I knew, and more and more like my enemy... Tell me, Harry, what should I do? Where should I go? I have no one to turn to anymore... Please, somebody, anybody, help my friend... I'll do anything... I beg of you... just save him...   
  
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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.   
  
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Petra: Okay, I had to admit that as I read this over my throat got kinda tight and my eyes kinda watery. *shiver* I don't know what it's like to watch a friend slowly die but I think I captured it pretty well. Half of me wants to write a happy ending...  
Kati: ...But the other half thinks it would be more realistic to write a sad one... I guess you'll just have to see what we come up with...  
Petra: I'm really proud as, when I started writing this, I had absouloutely NOTHING planned.   
Kati: As for the #s for Ron's journal it's simple: 7 - One step up from six (Devil's numbers are 666) and it's one of those weird numbers, 13 - First off the number associated with bad luck (also MY lucky number, weird, ne?), March - 3rd month in the year and three is the number that good (and bad) things always come in, and 9 is 3x3. Thanks to:  
  
HERMIONE CHANG: Yeah! My fic is only half-bad! (I take compliments where I can!) As to what you think about the angst stuff... I hope you like it... as almost all my fics ARE angst... (That is so sad...)  
COQUI: Heehee!!! *jumps up and down* *in sing-song voice* My fic is cool! My fic is cool! Someone actually liked it!! My fic is cool! ###^_^;### hehe... got a little... excited there... sorry...  
GSKRISSY: "Very good, very dark, very real..." ^_________^   
TIGERLILY: I warned you... I don't know why it's sad... I'm just a depressing person...  
HERMIONE26: Heehee... the FIRST one to suggest it... didn't think much of a sequel until later on... ^_- Thanks!  
C.P: Heehee, second person and when I actually started thinking this might be a good idea... ^___^ You guys are THE best!!!!!!!!   
VILLA: ... YEAH!!! I'm so good I stunned her into silence!! #^_^# I didn't think I was that good...  
MIKASA: I'm not the only one who thought Harry was a psycho maniac deep inside!!! Just kidding... What can I say, that's how I'd be thinking... sadly enough...  
SARAH BLACK: *hands tissue box* I DID warn you...   
CHRISTI TALMER: I like depressing stuff too.. sadly enough, it seems more realistic than those 'and they lived happily ever after fic' fics, currently of which I'm writing one... ^_^;  
KESSIE ANNE: Um... I didn't think of that... but, yeah, let's go with that, I like that idea...   
LENYA: I MADE A SATISFYING FIC!!! YEAH!!! *jumps up and says to stranger walk pass* GUESS WHAT??? I MADE A SATISFYING FIC!!! *person back away, staring wide-eyed* I DID IT!!! I DID IT!!!  
CLAMCHOWDER: Thanks for the advice, I'll go and change it, but I won't put the changed version on until I've finished the trilogy! Peeps, another thing, I'm ALWAYS open for advice!!! ALWAYS!!! Even if it's just to "go to hell". (By the way, I live there so don't use that one!)  
ANGELASHLEY12: Yep, I was right. Didn't believe me, ne? You want to know what? Whenever someone doesn't believe me, I'm right, when they do, I'm wrong... I'm cursed...  
WINDANGEL: Yeah, I like the night too, except that I have school now... so I can't... *weep* Yeah, I wanted to put examples in the book so you peeps wouldn't think I was just sprouting crap left and right. ^_-  
RACHEL: heehee... more worshippers... soon... soon I will have all the energy I need to realease the great power of the... *sees peeps staring at her* Oops... I mean... um... -_-;  
SOPY: Well, here is more... and if my muse *glares at offending creature which is nicely tied up* get me off of my writers block, I'll write the trilogy soon...   
  
Petra: I just want to say thanks again, because if it weren't for you guys... well... this story wouldn't be here, and I'm really proud of this one. Interesting tidbit: I put Darker Than Lonliness; Hating the Night "on the air" thinking no one was going to like it and now... *waves hands feebly*  
  
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."   
-Rose Marie Ledam  
  
~Petra Megami Assari~  
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess* 


	3. Midst of Night; My Heart Calls

Petra: Okay, I've actually had this finished for an insane amount of time, but never found the time to put it up... Sorry, sorry, sorry... *ducks flying object* Okay... *gets hit in the forehead by a shoe* OW!!! Okay... I deserved that-*gets hit in the cheek with a pen* WHO DID THAT?!?!?! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!!!!! *is held back by Kati*   
Kati: Pet-chan...  
Petra: DON'T YOU CALL ME THAT!!!!!   
Kati: Calm down, Petra-chan, you need to calm down and do your stupid intro!!!   
Petra: *looks up* Oh yeah... *nervous laugh* Sorry... again... So anyway, I just started school and have been loaded... stupid teachers... Sorry, just needed to get that straight. As to why this has turned into a five parter, well, I started the third story, wrote another one, and decided that THIS one would be the third and the one I originally wrote would be the fourth... So, as I said before, tell me whatcha want!!! I am here to serve you!!!!  
  
DEDICATED: Again, for you the readers, without who this would never have been possible and, always, for Harry.  
WARNING: Angst... surprised? If you are, have you even READ the last two stories?  
DISCLAIMER: Own = No. Mine = No. J.K.Rowlings = Yes. Permission = No.   
  
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Midst of Night; My Heart Calls  
  
"Life fears death, but lives only to die." -Final Fantasy IX  
  
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TIME: About 5 Years After Graduation; Late April  
  
There he was again, that same full black stag. He was in the yard, grazing, when I came outside to hang the laundry. It looked up as I stepped in the yard, but I ignored it. It had been coming around for the past two months and I was used to it, in fact I'd probably be worried if it didn't come around. "Is it that stag again, Hermione?" a voice asked behind me, as arms encircled my waist, pulling me against a firm chest.  
  
"Mmm-hmm," I murmured, turning my head toward my husband so he could kiss me. A small sound, like a stick breaking, broke us apart and we turned to stare at the person who had so rudely interrupted us. Not a person, though, but the stag. He had walked close to us while we were kissing and was now staring at us and, I could almost swear, smiling.  
  
"I swear," Ron whispered into my ear with a smile, "If stags could grin, this one is..."   
  
I nodded slowly, afraid to scare him away. He had never been this close before and anytime we had tried to get anywhere near him, he had sprinted away. This was the first time I had ever seen him clearly... the first time I had noticed that the color of his eyes were...  
  
Green... Emerald green... His eyes were a deep emerald green... and a scar, shaped like a lightening-bolt, slashed right down the middle of his forehead. "Ron... oh, Ron..." I whispered. "It can't be... can it?"  
  
"I... I don't know..." Ron had apparently noticed the same thing I had. Carefully, slowly, he let go of my waist and moved until he was standing next to me, then took a step forward. Suddenly, just like a true deer, his nose was thrown in the air and he looked at Ron in terror, before sprinting off.  
  
"No, Hermione, no, it's not HIM, it can't be, he would have told us..." Ron turned toward me, and I saw the hope that had sparked in his eyes slowly die.   
  
I felt the same hope that had risen in me slowly deflate again and, with tear-filled eyes, I lightly smiled at Ron. "No... it can't be him... but that doesn't mean I can't hope it is..." I tilt my head back and look at the clear blue sky, blinking back tears. I have already cried for him, my tears will not bring him back, thus there is no point... "Oh Harry..."  
  
Harry... where are you? Are you even still alive? Harry, come back to us... please... "Hermione... we need to move on... it's been five years!"  
  
"I know!" I turn pleading eyes toward my husband. "Please, Ron, tell me it was all a nightmare! Tell me it was just a dream! Tell me that any minute now Harry's going to come walking through this door with gifts and kisses!"  
  
"I can't!" Ron took me in his arms and I let the tears come. The tears wouldn't change anything but... they helped me deal with my pain. "Hermione, you've read that note he left us. Harry... he... he had... something eating him from the inside that he couldn't stop..."  
  
"But that's just it!" I cried, pushing away from him, "We don't know! We don't know if he's alive or if he's dead or if he managed to stop it or not! WE DON'T KNOW!!" The grief was choking me, I could barely breath, could barely see... could only let memories long past assail my thoughts, memories of the boy that had changed my life... in so many ways...   
  
"Hermione..." he whispered, and I could see my grief mirrored in his own eyes, could see that he was also remembering.   
  
"Ron!" I flew back into his arms and he held my shaking body. After a while a baby's cry came from the house and Ron whispered, "I'll go get him, love." I smiled thankfully at him and he went inside the house. I stood outside a moment, breathing in the scent of the September air before turning to go in the house. Something caught my attention though, something standing at the edge of the words, something watching me... The stag was looking at me with those brilliant green eyes and, as he turned away, I could have sworn that a tear fell from his eye to the ground...  
  
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"By-o, by-o baby... Momma is a lady... Daddy is a gentlemen... and Harry's my little baby..."[1] I rocked my son gently in my arms as the people filed into the church and smiled at me.   
  
"Is my mother here yet?" Ron whispered, looking over my shoulder.  
  
"No," I whispered, shifting the baby slightly in my arms.  
  
"Are you sure you want to name him Harry, love? There's still time to change it..." He gently stroked our child's cheek.   
  
I sighed. "Yes... I want him to have the childhood that I always knew Harry wished he had. You know Harry hated being famous, being known, all he ever wanted was to live like a regular wizard."  
  
Ron smiled sadly. "I know... I wish he could have had his wish, don't you?"  
  
At that I smiled, a smile that, while happy, told of a hidden sadness beneath it. "Don't you see, Ron, we're making his wish, his dream, come true. Little Harry Cedric Weasley will live for two people that never got to have them. For Harry a normal life and for Cedric, whose own life was cut too short." I paused and looked at Ron whose smile was happy while his eyes were sad. "Harry always felt bad about Cedric; well, Little Harry will live for both of them..."  
  
Later, I watched with happy, tear-filled eyes as our son was named Harry Cedric after two people who hadn't wanted anything more than to live their lives. I looked at the audience of friends and family... Every Gryffindor that had been in our year was here, all the Weasleys, everyone from Harry's old quidditch team, all of our old teachers... Hagrid...  
  
Hagrid had taken it the hardest when Harry had started to disappear. He hadn't known what was wrong, for Professor Dumbledore had been afraid that he wouldn't be able to take it. On the day before graduation, Professor Dumbledore had called Ron and I up to his office. We had walked in to find Ron's parents, Hagrid, and the old team captian, Oliver Wood, with whom Harry had kept in touch with through his school years, all sitting his Dumbledore's office. Dumbledore had then told us that... that Harry was a wizard who was fighting against his own nature... his black nature.  
  
We were surprised and no one had said anything, letting Dumbledore explain how he had suspected it since Harry's first year, when, after he had talked to the Sorting Hat (apparently he talked to it after every Sorting to ask which students would give him trouble) it had told the Headmaster it had seriously considered putting Harry in Slytherian. Needless to say, we were shocked. Harry had never told us that. He then continued to point out things that had led him to think that Harry was a dark wizard by nature, like how he was a Parselmouth, he had denied Draco's invitation of friendship even though they would have fit together so well, but the thing that had told him this for certain, was how Voldemort looked at Harry... like Voldemort was laughing, pitying, and fearing him at the same time...  
  
After everyone else had gone, Dumbledore took Ron and I aside and told us that he didn't think Harry was a natural dark wizard, but had rather been--infected--by Voldemort when Harry was a baby. The day after our graduation we had gotten two notes from Harry, one saying to keep Hedwig... and the other was dated one and a half years ago... when we had been in our sixth year. We had stared at it and Ron said he had seen it before. I remembered Ron talking about a note he had found, how we had both discussed it... so this was it...  
  
That Harry Potter was losing to his darker side crushed all of us. No one else knew the truth, of course, no one else could. That the famous and good Harry Potter was actually a dark wizard at heart, why, it was unthinkable... but... it was true...  
  
Everyone else thought that had Harry had simply been taken somewhere safer than Hogwarts, since the attacks on Harry were becoming more and more violent... and then we got the letter...  
  
Ron and I had been married for only two months when we got it, it was three words long: Something happened. -Dumbledore. I remember the exact date... it had been July 13... a Friday...  
  
Harry, three months after our graduation, had decided that he would rather die than go to the join Voldemort and so he went a on a suicidal mission to defeat Lord Voldemort... and he had. There was no doubt, Voldemort's body had been found... but Harry's hadn't... and it was thought he was dead. We didn't hear any word from him so it was agreed and, on Harry's birthday, the whole world was informed that the famous Harry Potter... was dead...  
  
I turned my thoughts back to the present and smiled, looking at the crowd that had formed around my child... but the smile froze as I noticed someone standing in the shadows in the back of the church. Who...?  
  
The person looked at me, as though sensing my gaze, and my brown eyes met emerald green, as he lazily brushed some black hair out of his eyes. He smiled sadly, a yearning that I couldn't discern in his darkened eyes. I couldn't breath, the smile frozen on my face. Harry... Harry...?  
  
His smile became slightly bigger but no less sad. God, but he had changed. He was much taller and, except for the green eyes, the spitting image of his father. "Hermione...?" the voice made me look wildly to my left and Ron stared at me in confusion. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Ron... Harry..." I turned quickly, looking wildly in the shadows, except... there was no one there... Ron stared at me. "Ron... I just saw Harry..."   
  
"Are you sure you weren't imagining it?" he asked.  
  
"I... don't know..." Had I imagined it... hoping vainly that he was really alive...? Had becoming lost in my memories called forth the demon that tormented my soul and ripped apart my heart?  
  
"Dear, we'll talk about it later," he said. I nodded, agreeing reluctantly, and turned back to my guests... but not before I looked out the window. There, framed by the sunlight that was dancing across the dewy grass, was a solid black stag with green eyes. He was watching me and, as our eyes caught and held, I was sure I heard Harry's voice say, so desperately and with so much need, just as he had the last time we had seen him that night so long ago, "Friends forever and beyond, right, guys? Forever and beyond...?"  
  
[1] = This is a song that my mother sang to me... it is a very special song to me and, when I needed a lullaby, was the first thing that popped into my head.  
  
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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.   
  
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Kati: Oki-dokie. Now it's up to you the readers to decide what to do.   
Petra: Will there be more or are you happy with the sappy (yet happy) ending I gave it. Whatever... You people are proabably disappointed but, ya know, whatever.   
Kati: Thanks to:  
  
A PERSON: Thanks, that's saying something considering me... ^_^; Just look at Oathbound, at first I got lots of reviews but as soon as the second chapter went up... ^_^;   
VMR: I will keep writing as proven by the fact that I am sitting here... *giggle* Now my story is awesome... *blows kisses at all of reviewers*   
HOLLI: Hey, girl!!! Heehee, there's a lot of things going on in my mind to!!! I can't decide how to end it!!! -_-;   
CREAMY MIMI: There's a lot more, sadly, this has turned into a five part fic that was only supposed only be three parts that was supposed to only be a one shot... ^_^;  
COQUI COQUILLA13: Trust me, dear, I know what you mean... *sigh and looks at instructions to paper she is supposed to be writing* ^_^; *nervous giggle*  
007: YEAH!!!! "best angst piece"!!! ... ... Okay... so I took a bit off!!! Sue me!!! AACCCKKKK!!! I WAS KIDDING!!!!!! *runs for life*   
C.P: Shiver? I don't know about a shiver but I sure do like him better this way... he's not such a goody-two-shoes!!! (sorry all you goody-two-shoe-lovers AND all you goody-two-shoes but you make me sick!!! *gag*)  
SATURN'S HIKARI: Umm... -_-; I don't think I'm going to turning this into a crossover thanks anyways... (*giggle* I LOVE that little Trowa you did!!! ///_- Know how to Duo, Heero, or/and Quatre??????)  
  
Petra: I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO Kisses and hugs from your fan, Petra!!!! *blows more kisses*  
  
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."   
-Rose Marie Ledam  
  
~Petra Megami Assari~  
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess* 


	4. Powerless to Die; Unable to Live

Petra: Here you are, Merry Holidays! Okay, I don't like this one as much as the others but, what can I say, I like it enough that I want to put as part of this five parter, as the one-shot, then trilogy, turned out to be.  
Kati: Merry Holidays!  
  
DEDICATED: For everyone who has been affected by the horrible things that happened on Sept. 11 and, as usual, for Harry because there are too many like you in this world.  
WARNING: Angst (As usual...)  
DISCLAIMER: Me no own. Rich people own. Please no sue.  
  
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Powerless to Die; Unable to Live  
  
"And in his dreams, there was plenty of time for 'silly' things, like watching sunrises and sunsets, and to tease his friends without fear of death's dark cloak overcoming them... There was peace." -WhiteCat (?); UNKNOWN (GW) [If anyone knwos the fic that this came from (and yes, I'm aware that you're HP fans) would you please tell me the title and wear to find it.]  
  
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AUTHOR'S NOTE: If you know where the above quote came from or even if you can confirm that WhiteCat wrote it, I would be extremely grateful because I have scoured the i'net and I can't figure out where it's from. I've checked WhiteCat's site but I didn't see it anywhere. If I didn't see it, or if I wrote down the wrong author, please tell me so that I can write the correct one.  
  
TIME: 12 Years Later; June 3; Firebolt/Harry Cedric Weasley's 3rd Year (going to be soon...)  
  
I could see the ground rushing at me and felt the thrill course through my veins. I loved flying; for me, there was nothing better on the earth than flying. I laughed at my own pun before I smiled, remembering how my parents jokingly referred to me as a Mini-Harry Potter, always remarking on how closely I follow in Harry's footsteps. I, just like Harry, had become Seeker for the Gryffindor Quidditch team in my first year after showing my talent during our first flying lesson.   
  
"Firebolt! What do you want to eat?" my mother called from the room. I called back the typical answer of 'I don't know'. Firebolt... I had been nicknamed that after I had found Harry's broom in our closet and had flown on it, copying my parents. Afterwards, when my parents had tried to take it away, I had refused. I don't really remember much of it, most of it I heard from my parents, as I was only five at the time. The only thing I remember is lying in bed afterwards, looking at my broom, as I overheard part of my parent's conversation. The strange thing is, apparently, they don't know how the broom got there. The last they had seen of it, Harry had had it...  
  
My real name is Harry Cedric Weasley. I was named after the famous Harry Potter, also my parent's best friend, and Cedric Diggory, one of the first people Voldemort killed when he came to power again. You know, when you think about it, it's really creepy to be named after dead people...  
  
I pushed the red hair of my brown eyes as I swung the broom over my shoulder. I didn't use Harry's old Firebolt anymore, the Emerald Lightening my current favorite, but the Firebolt still sat by my door and, sometimes, I'd ride it just because. I sighed. It made me feel a little guilty but I was a lot more like Harry than my parents would care to know. I remember how they told me about all the adventures Harry and they had had... Well... I'm not exactly the law-abiding student either you see...  
  
I stayed home last Christmas and there, underneath all the presents from friends and family, I had found a small bundle wrapped in newspaper. Curious, I had opened it. My Seeker reflexes had caught something silver and silk-like as it fell from the package, missing the note though, as it drifted to the floor. My eyes had widened... an invisibility cloak was clutched into my hands. Trembling, I had put it down slowly, bending to pick up the note. It had simply read: I am sure this will come in use. ... I knew who it was from though, it was from-  
  
"Harry Cedric Weasley, huh?" The voice came from behind me and I turned in surprise. Who? The man was leaning against the tree and, because of the shadows, I couldn't see his features. There was something about him that was strangely familiar though...   
  
"Yeah..." I said cautiously, a slight hint of challenge creeping into my voice; just because he looked familiar didn't mean I knew him.  
  
"Firebolt, that's what you go by though, right?" the man asked. I nodded, not sure if I should, but unable to stop myself. There was something about him... "Why?" For some reason, unknown to me, I explained. He smiled... and I recognized him instantly. Those eyes, I remembered them from the pictures my parents had around the house.  
  
"Harry... Potter..." I whispered and he smiled again.   
  
"Smart, too."  
  
"Why... didn't you tell my mum and dad?" I could feel anger as I remember my mum crying over him at night, thinking that I couldn't hear. "Do you know how much you hurt them!? Do you have any idea about the pain you caused them!? My mum cries everyday on your birthday! You... you... JERK!!!" I felt like striking him, hurting him... until I saw my parent's pain reflected in his own eyes.   
  
"I... wanted to tell them... so bad... but I need your help before I do..." Suddenly he was beside me and I stared at him in surprise. How...? "Firebolt... the link between Voldemort and I was stronger than I thought and... when I killed him..." He paused, his eyes pleading with me. "I died too."  
  
"You're a ghost!?" I exclaimed in surprise. He didn't look like a ghost. He wasn't see-through and he didn't float on the ground. The only weird thing he had done was take a step that equaled a foot and ghosts couldn't do that.  
  
"No," he replied, and I could see the famous scar peeking out at me from beneath his bangs. "I believe the correct term would be half-dead. Firebolt, I'm only half-alive. I spend half the year dead and the other half alive. The Darkness is gone but... I am too... almost... I can't keep this up... so I need your help."  
  
Darkness? What? I ignored it for the moment and asked, "But... why me?"  
  
"I need either a friend to kill me... or a friend to make me live..." He paused for a moment. "Firebolt, I need a drop of your blood for a potion."  
  
"What!?"   
  
"I know... I know... I don't even know if this'll work but..." He looked at me pleadingly, and I could see years of pain in those green depths. "I have to try... this is my last hope... you're my only hope..."  
  
"Why-why can't you just ask mum or dad?"  
  
He looked down but I saw the tear that slid down his cheek. "I... don't want them to know I'm alive... don't want them to become hopeful only to have it fail... because if this doesn't work... I'm going to have to die instead of live."  
  
I stared at him a moment, wondering what it must be like to not be alive but not to be dead either... "I'll do it..."  
  
There was such gratitude in those eyes that I'm sure he would have kissed me, but... he reached out to touch me and I held my hand out too but, much to my amazement, his hand just went through mine. There was a feeling of wind against my skin and then Harry was staring at me, clutching his right hand to his chest. "I... I..." I stumbled for words to convey the sorrow that was clenching my gut. Then I stopped... Harry didn't need my pity, he needed my help.  
  
"Do you have something to carry the blood in?" Harry nodded and produced from his robes a vial, seemingly with magic. How could someone live without being able to touch another living person? How? I took the vial slowly, watching as the hope filled Harry's eyes and, for a moment, I saw the Harry that my parents must have known, so full of hope and innocence, but it was gone in the space of a heartbeat and there was only that dead soulless look again.   
  
Carefully, I accepted the pin that floated to me and, grimacing slightly, pricked the index finger on my right hand. A drop of blood welled up and dripped into the vial. Another and then one more, before a hand waved in front of vial, drawing my attention and making me stop. I held the vial out to him and it flew out of my fingers and disappeared. Then, I felt a breath of air against my pricked finger and looked down in time to see Harry's hand pull back and my wound heal.   
  
"How?" I looked up in surprise.  
  
"I can do low-level magic without a wand because, it seems, my body classifies wands as something else it doesn't want to touch." I shuddered, clutching my wand again... my wand was like an extension of myself... "Thank you... maybe we'll meet again someday." And he was gone.  
  
I stared at the trees for moment before turning around and running to my house. Inside, I instantly saw my mother and launched into her arms, remembering how Harry could not touch another human being. I... I hope it works... Harry, I'll be praying for you...  
  
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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.   
  
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Petra:There it is, hoped you liked it. I won't write much since I'm trying to get a lot of different things posted, so I leave it at that.  
Kati: Just a few words to:  
  
VMR: I know it's sad... I didn't mean it to be that way... -_-;  
HOLLI: ^_^ Wow! Thanks, girl, I didn't think it was that good!  
KYLANA: More? Well... here's more...  
MAYQUEEN: I know, I really liked this part too. I think this was one of my fav parts.  
TIA'RAHU: Close... Really close but not quite there yet...  
JORJ CAR'DAS: #^___________^#   
STARWARSFREAK: Coo'!   
HERMIONEGMALFOY: I'm glad you liked his story 'cause that's why I'm here. To serve.  
C.P: I'm so sorry it wasn't fast... and I'm sorry I made you cry... I did warn you!  
SCARLET PHOENIX: ^_^ Thanks, I'll try.  
SUMMERSON: ^_^ I already wrote another part of it, I was just asking if YOU, the readers, wanted it or not!  
  
Petra: Again, thanks for reviewing and keep 'em coming! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO Kisses and hugs from your fan, Petra!!!! *blows more kisses*  
  
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."   
-Rose Marie Ledam  
  
~Petra Megami Assari~  
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess* 


	5. Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow; Fight, Fall,...

Petra: I'm sorry this took so long to get out but A) I've had a lot on my mind lately, B) I couldn't think of what to do, and C) homework, tests, and teachers, Oh my! *giggle* I'm going to get serious now because this is a serious fic and somehow, it just doesn't seem right.   
Kati: This is it, guys. This is the end.   
Petra: I won't be writing anymore after this, this is the end ot a series that went from 1-3-5. I hope you guys like it because I wrote it for you, not because I felt inspired, but because I knew it would make you happy and... well... here it is... enjoy  
  
DEDICATED: To those without hope, to all you readers because without you this wouldn't even exsist, and for Fri-chan, my best friend, whether you believe in yourself or not, I am always there for you... But, again, especially for you readers, because without you I wouldn't have taken this wonderful journey...  
WARNING: Angst, will either have a lot or a little, you'll just have to read and see. Cussing.  
DISCLAIMER: I've said it before, and I'll say it again. No own.  
  
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Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow; Fight, Fall, Rise  
  
"Courage is not defined by those who fought and did not fall, but by those you fought, fell, and rose again." -Unknown  
  
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TIME: Two Weeks Later  
  
I'm beginning to drift away. I can feel my mind wander and it's taking more and more energy to pull my thoughts back to what I was first thinking about. He knows it too... and it hurts him. Hurts him, I believe, more than it hurts me. He thinks that I'm his fault, that it happened because of him, that he has to make it right... It's become the only thing he can think about. We're both running out of time and we both know it. I'm running out of energy and he's running out of sanity. It won't be much longer until he can't go on. Harry...   
  
I remember what you were like before, with that innocent purity that made you so incredibly popular... when did it begin to darken? When did the white become stained and then turn utterly black? You're looking at me again, with that same pained expression and I know that I'm beginning to drift again.   
  
"Sorry," I say, pulling myself back together. My form, which had become gossamer, almost like mist, becomes merely transparent again.  
  
He sighs and looks at the ground, his body strangely here and, yet, faded at the same time. "What're we doing?" He pauses just a moment before continuing, "What am I doing? Why can't I give up hope? Why can't I just let go?"  
  
I sigh, for I have no answers for him. "It's getting harder to pull back together..." I pause for a moment and watch him, studying if I should say what's on my mind or not. "Harry... I forgive you. Just let me go, please, I'm getting tired and everyday I use up more energy... I don't want to just disappear; I want to be able to go to where ever it is I'm going to go. And if I stay here, that's what's going to happen."  
  
He stared at me a moment and then looked at the ground, both of us pretending not to notice the sudden dampness in his eyes and the small drop of pain, liquefied, that fell to the ground. "I suppose I've been greedy, half of me kept you here because I wanted to bring you back, but the other half kept me here because I so badly wanted you to stay here, so I wouldn't be alone..."  
  
"Harry..." I whispered, walking over and looking at him concerned. Can I even remember the strong Harry Potter that I once knew? He's fading and, lately, all I see is this frail half-dead creature in front of me, who seems to get thinner every time I see him. But then again, he was always thin, wasn't he? Proof that not everything in Harry's life was right; a testament to his past, you could almost call it. He should be tall, you can see it slightly, but he isn't. No number of years of feasts fit for a king can make up for the malnourishment that The-Boy-Who-Lived went through for the first ten years of his life. Where did the Harry Potter who defeated the Dark Lord go? Was the bond that strong, did he die with his enemy? Or am I finally seeing the real Harry, the Harry who would do almost anything for acceptance? The Harry who was almost starved by people who should have loved him? The "Boy-Who-Lived" who was beaten up by a cruel cousin who wouldn't be remembered in the years to come but would leave scars on this kind and gentle soul? A young boy... who made it through years of pain and loneliness to finally find his place... only to have it all yanked out form under him... again...  
  
There are so many questions that I want to ask him, so many things that I can see swimming in his eyes, but I dare not, for I fear his answers and I fear what would happen to him if he were forced to answer things that would be better left unsaid. I stare at him now, watching something flicker in his emerald green eyes, something that I never thought I would see in that soul. Hopelessness. I turned away; I can't bear that look in his eyes. He has tried for so hard and for so long, to find a way to make both of us together...   
  
"One more try... Please... Cedric..." he grabbed my hand and, though I felt no warmth and only a slight pressure, it still felt nice to have someone touch me in... God... I can't even remember how long we've been fighting this losing battle... How long? Far too long... "Cedric, friend... I'm begging you. Give me this one chance! Then... we can leave."   
  
'We' meaning... "Harry, you mean... if this doesn't work you're going to..." He turned away, refusing to meet my gaze.  
  
"Yes, Cedric," he looked up and, though it was hidden, I saw the tiniest flicker, like embers, of something that I had thought lost forever. Hope, in his clear emerald gaze, hope... "Whatever happens, you won't be by yourself." I smiled and he smiled back at me, the first real smile I had seen in five years. "C'mon... let's pay a visit to an old 'friend'."  
  
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I stared across the yard as, for the first time in a long time, Harry confronted his one demon left to destroy.  
  
"Well, Draco, you've changed, haven't you?" Harry said, and Draco turned in surprise and shock at the familiar voice.   
  
"Harry? No fuckin' way! I am not staring at dead Harry standing in my lawn!" His face was pale and his blue eyes dilated to the point where it looked like he didn't have a pupil. He had dyed his blond hair a dark violet, almost black. "Harry... is that really you?" For a moment he appeared almost hopeful. Hopeful to see Harry...?  
  
"Yeah..." Harry stared at Draco for a moment and then, looked at the ground, his eyes the same color as the grass he stood on. "I'm sorry about your dad but... I had to..."  
  
"Harry!" Draco suddenly interjected, his face projecting panic. "Don't apologize, please. God knows, I loved him, I mean he was my dad... but that didn't mean I pretended not to know who he was, what he was. In a way, you saved me. If you hadn't done what you did, I would have followed in his footsteps... and then would have been more people like you, people without a family." Harry was staring at Draco in shock, as was I, and Draco suddenly walked over, putting a hand on Harry's shoulder... or trying to.   
  
Harry shuddered at the feeling of Draco's hand going through his arm before taking a small step back, not meeting Draco's horrified gaze. "You have no idea how much that means to me, that you, of all people, would care that much... but, as you can see, I'm not completely unharmed. I'm half-dead. You'll probably get a good laugh out of that later, won't you?"  
  
Draco almost appeared... well... hurt. "Was I that good of an actor? Harry, I never hated you. I hated the idea of you. Someone who everyone liked and enjoyed; someone who could remain so pure and yet have such a bad life, that's what I hated, not you... In fact... I envied you sometimes," Draco looked to the side, pain clear in his pale gaze. "The way you made friends, not because their parents were friends of your parents, but just because. I hated that you always beat me in almost everything, and I always let down my father when you did well. What I hated the most was... was... the way that people, once they got to know you, didn't care anymore that you were The-Boy-Who-Lived, but simply liked you for who you were. I can't say that anyone in my life has every liked me simply for who I was..."   
  
I knew what Harry was thinking about when Draco said that, he was remembering that first year, the "dragon incident" (as I had dubbed it), that he'd told me about. I'd remembered how mad I'd been when he'd lost all those points, and how I'd felt so guilty when I finally learned the truth. "My life wasn't easy, Draco, but I used to think yours was... I guess we were both wrong, huh?" In that moment, enemies no longer stood across from each other, but two people who had simply misunderstood what life was about. Then, the next most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my entire life was presented for me to see. Two men, once adversaries, then tried to embrace and, as they did, I could have sworn a strange silver light surrounded them and that they could actually touch. Then I blinked and it was gone, just two more people standing across from each other, but there was something in their eyes... something that told me something very important had happened here today.  
  
"Draco, would you give me a couple drops of your blood?" At the other boy's questioning gaze, he explained, "It's my only chance..." For everything... for life, for death, to breath, to laugh, to cry... Harry didn't need to explain it and Draco didn't need to hear it.  
  
"If it would cure you, I would drain every drop of my blood from my body." They smiled again and, for the first time in a long while, I felt a flicker of hope.  
  
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"One day can make your life. One day can ruin your life. All life is, is four or five big days that change everything." I remember my mother telling me that quote many times. It's from a muggle book by Beverly Something, [1] my mum's favorite book to be exact. For some reason that quote stuck with me and it came to mind as I stood before the border between the forest and the meadow, watching the sunlight and shadow dance between them, almost as though the light and dark were fighting. Today is one of those days, one of those days that's going change everything, no matter what happens.  
  
Harry was setting up the spell. It isn't necessarily a complicated spell... just powerful and incredibly hard to control, there are a lot of things that could go wrong. A mirror was set right where the shade touched the sunlight, one side reflecting shadow and trees, the other side reflecting a sun-filled meadow. The side with in the shadow had the drops of Draco's blood scattered in front of it, while the side with the light had the blood of Firebolt (Ron and Hermione's child). There were more parts involved but those are the two most important things. Harry was using almost all of his power to grasp both our wands in his hand, and I could see it was quickly draining him. The wands were important, something that linked us from what we are now to what we once were.  
  
"Ready?" Harry asked, turning to me, holding out his other hand.   
  
"Yes." Carefully, I placed my hand in his. No warmth, no coldness, just the firmness of the hand that I knew was there but could barely see. I watched in surprise as he took a deep drink of something in a vial. "Harry? What was that...?" I didn't remember that being in the spell he'd told me about.  
  
"Cedric..." he whispered and something in his eyes told me to pull back... but it was already too late. He was pulling me through the mirror, which rippled like water around him, and then I was pulled through. His hand desperately grasped mine and I saw a light inside him begin to grow... and it suddenly hit me what he was going to do.  
  
"Don't!" I yelled, but nothing came out of my mouth or, if it did, it was lost in the infinite darkness. The light traveled through his veins, until I could see the beating of his heart and his pulse, until it finally reached my hand...   
  
PAIN! HEAT! I thought my hand would burn off and I tried to pull away, but his grip had become too strong. I suddenly noticed that we were standing before a circular open in the blackness, revealing the sunny meadow beyond. Then, I felt Harry pushing me toward the opening, without him.   
  
I tried to cry out, but again the darkness swallowed my words. Desperately I looked in his eyes and, for the first and last time, I saw the most beautiful thing in the world... I saw Harry's soul. PAIN! HEALING! LONLINESS! FRIENDSHIP! COLD! HEAT! LOVE! Love... always... everywhere... Shielding. Protecting. ...and memories... Suddenly, I was lying with Ron and Hermione in a dappled field looking at the beautiful blue sky and white clouds. Then I was among those same clouds, their mistiness rushing by, felt the cool wood clasped in my palms and between my legs, as I flew with Harry for the first time. ...And for the first time, I felt freedom. I never knew you could feel freedom, but that day, flying on a broomstick in a memory, I felt it. I saw his tear-stained face as he held my dead body, the shock still not quite in. I saw his love for his friends and everyone who he knew... and I suddenly knew why Harry hadn't died with Voldemort...   
  
There was a sudden sharp crack that wasn't heard as much it was felt, wrenching me backward and I felt as though part of my soul were being wrenched out with me. As I felt my hand fall from his grasp and my eyes flutter shut, I knew I wouldn't remember what happened after I met his eyes. But I also couldn't help but wonder... Harry... Did you even know... that inside you... there lived... a soul so great... that I almost lost myself...?  
  
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God... I hurt all over... I groaned and pushed myself off the ground, clutching my aching head... and then it all came crashing back on me. I remembered being pulled through the mirror... and then darkness... and then a light spreading over Harry... I moved to meet Harry's eyes... and light... I opened my eyes slowly, trying to grasp what that white light had been, but it eluded me and I felt it settle deep into my unconscious, where dreams that were lost are held, with only the feeling that accompanied them to remind you after you woke. Harry...? Oh God! Harry! I looked around frantically for Harry and finally noticed that, lying on the ground a few feet from me was someone, their arms thrown over their eyes, their robes a pure white, tattered, and burned. The mirror was right behind him and it had been cracked into a million pieces...  
  
"Harry!" I let out a startled croak and found that my throat was dry. Dry... did that mean... I started to cry as I saw that I was solid... and human... I was alive. "Harry! YOU STUPID FOOL!" I screamed, stumbling on weak and wobbly legs to my frighteningly still friend. "You did that on purpose! YOU KNEW YOU WERE GONNA HAVE TO DIE TO SAVE ME!!! You prat! Idiot...! You promised me that I wouldn't be by myself. LIAR! You lied!" I fell on his chest and let the sobs shake me, for the first time in many years crying over a fate so cruel...  
  
"Didn't... lie..." the voice was so faint that, for a minute, I thought that I was hearing things. Then I looked up and saw that his chest was, though very faintly, moving up and down. I looked at him as he peeled his arms away from his face to smile at me and I could feel my eyes widening, my jaw dropping and, though I tried to stop these reactions, I couldn't. His hair fell to his waist at least and, thought the tips were still a midnight black, the rest was a silver like that of the moon. His eyes were a silver-green that was definitely not human. The scar on his forehead was gone though, for a moment, I thought I saw a strange symbol like that of a lightening bolt striking through a circle and... I remembered being surrounded by light and being lost in something beautiful, but then it was gone, like the mist on a moonlit night that disappears into the forest.  
  
"Harry... your hair... and eyes..." He stared at me in confusion and then held out his hand to the mirror... only to have us both stare in shock as the largest part of the broken mirror, without words or wand, came to him. He stared at himself for a moment and I stared at him, waiting for his reaction, but when he turned back to me, it wasn't really him... is was something inside him speaking... the one that whispers the answers you never hear, that one who always seems to know answers to the questions before they were even asked... the one that understands everything.   
  
"The power... I tried to transmit all the power from the wand, the spell, and me, through me and then into you. I got so weak... I could feel myself dying, slowly, painfully... Then, I felt something bigger and more powerful than I ever thought existed reaching out to help me." He stared at himself in the mirror and then placed his hand on the smooth reflection and, for a moment, the veins in his hands glowed silver. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, as though listening to something. "I... I can hear... the earth, the sun... even the stars, whispering to me. Telling me what happened... and then there's something inside me, something that was never tapped before... but is now. Cedric... I feel whole, like I never did before in my life."  
  
He opened his eyes and looked at me... for a moment I think fear-filled-hope flickered in his eyes but then I said, "Harry, I think I learned something about you in there, I don't remember what... but whatever it was, it has something to do with this. But, I do remember thinking it was the most beautiful thing in the world." Harry stared at me and I suddenly found those silver-blue eyes a little too sharp, too delving... seeing a little too far into my soul.  
  
"C'mon, Cedric," he said, holding out his hand and, again I placed my hand in his... except this time I felt warmth and acceptance and, for a moment, I like to think I felt a bit of his power... and it was amazing, like suddenly the earth, the moon, the stars, the sun, everything, was connected to you... Then, just as suddenly as we were standing in the meadow, we were standing in front of Ron and Hermione's home and he let go of my hand, the feeling of wholeness disappearing with his touch. I watched as Harry bit his lip in nervousness and then, we walked up to the door... and knocked...   
  
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And thus my story ends. Harry's doesn't. I don't think it ever will. Harry's story will go on forever, as will he. This was my story. This was our story; do you believe it's true? Before we part, and you answer no, I ask you this: If so much of what we thought was the truth usually turns out to be fiction, how do you know that what people call fiction isn't really the truth? Think about for a moment, before you leave, and maybe... just maybe... this won't seem as impossible as it sounds.  
  
[1] - This was said by: Beverly Donofrio. The movie 'Riding in Cars with Boys' is based on her novel.   
  
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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.   
  
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Petra: Well guys, I hope you liked the ending, I really did. I actually like this story, though I still think I could've done better but, oh well, I'm a perfectionist.   
Kati: This is the END!   
Petra: *sigh* Yes... There won't be any more, I'm really sorry, but I've got a million ideas swimming around in my mind and I REALLY want to write them. Keep checking though, maybe I'll post an original story and you might like that.   
Kati: Review if you want to, if you've read the story this far you obviously like it and that's all I need to know.   
Petra: Thanks, guys, that's all I can say. This has been a really big adventure for both of us, I think, and I'm really glad that you guys made me write this.   
Kati: Really?  
Petra: I was talking to the readers, not to you, I'm still pissed at you.   
Kati: *sticks tongue out*  
Petra: Anyways, thanks to these people especially for reviewing and feeding a straving author:  
  
KAT: It was going to be a trilogy... it really was... unexaplainable things just kept happening... *sob*   
MAJESTICANGEL: Thanks, and here's the rest/end... hope ya liked it 'cause I do! ^_- *blows kiss*  
CREAMY MIMI: *blush* Really? Well, I like this part better so, hopefully, this one'll make you just stop breathing... ^_-  
WOLF OF SOLITUDE: *guilty feeling* I'm SOOOOOOOO sorry I didn't get this up sooner but I didn't really know what was going to happen either, so I also had to wait and see what my muse came up with... *sigh* It took her long enough. (Kati: *glare*)   
PLEASE: Now I feel really guilty... *hides beneath desk* *sniffle* I'll be out in a minute...  
C.P.: And I love ALL you guys too, but, again... *guilt trip* Bummer... now I'm starting to feel really, REALLY bad...  
CATSPOOK: Original? Well... as original as fanfiction can get I guess... I don't know, I just don't think it is. I've always felt there was something... different inside Harry... *guilt trip* *dies* (Kati: *points at body* NOW look what you did. *pause* Pet-chan...? *pokes* Ne, Pet-chan...?)  
  
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."   
-Rose Marie Ledam  
  
~Petra Megami Assari~  
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess* 


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